I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
