I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
i just had sex bonerless
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
