I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
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