My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
