I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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