i just wanna soil my oats bro
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
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