I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Randomize
