did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
