Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
