I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize