Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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