even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
how does that bad decision feel?
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
