I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
