I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
