so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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