I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
