pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
