Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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