carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I wanna passion pit in your ass
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
