I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
