D3 body, D1 cock
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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