I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize
