so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
