Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Randomize
