Who wears a wallet chain?!
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
