I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
