I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Your tits are I can't wait for
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
