Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
