Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
