Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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