i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
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