So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
