And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
