Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
