I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
