perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
My vagina is officially offended.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
