and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
