Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Alive.
So much puke
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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