wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
