Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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