just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
