Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
