remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
