Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Randomize
