Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
