And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Screwed.edu
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
lets start a swedish sibling band together
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
