Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
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