i just wanna soil my oats bro
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
