So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Randomize
