If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
