Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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