You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
